I've used many of the anti-Revolution wrestlers in this roleplay, but as they are playing other roles staying true to character wasn't that much of an issue. However, if even participating in such a parody would be against your character's nature, let me know, and he can be replaced with another wrestler or a Captain Parkes' crewman. I tried to match people up somewhat at least a little bit by storyline, but I make no guarantees. Again, any big problems or anything just PM me, and I'll make changes as need be.
[The shot opens up in the throne room of the Wizard of Oz. Standing there, we see Master Swee Ensowa, dressed in the black suit of the Wizard of Oz. Before him stand a gathering of people, we can see amongst them Bruise Li and Captain Parkes, also present are Double, Bruiser Bob, Hemorrhage, Von Ryan, Freelancer, Sarkovic, and El Lobo and Yellow Girl. Bruise Li is holding a hockey stick and wearing a Jarkko Ruuto Jersey. Also present is Captain Parkes, who is wearing a black sleeveless shirt, white and black pleather shorts, and white and black wingtip boots, in the same style as JPea. Double is wearing a white undertop with purple tank ontop of that, Black Pleather's and white boots like JMac. Hemorrhage is dressd in a sumo outfit, but is wearing the trunks and boots that Paulley normally wears. Von Ryan is wearing a long brown coat covering a pin striped suit. Sarkovic wears a grey and silver body suit with white elbow pads, the formerly white kneepads are now heavily scuffed up and dirty, and white padded gloves. El Lobo has slabs of beef jerky stuck on his back and weird contact lenses, looking a lot like Bodders as a result. Bruiser Bob looks like Ningo Das and Freelancer is dressed in Synyster G trunks. Last but not least, is Yellow Girl, who is dressed like BBC.]
Master of Oz: Who dares come before the mighty wizard!
BBC Girl: It is my group, the Revolution!
Master of Oz: What is the problem?
BBC: When I put this group together to take over the UNWA, I didn't realize I needed competent wrestlers! Just the other night we participated in 5 matches, and only managed to win one, and then the winner managed to get beat up after that.
Master of Oz: I see, so the Revolution needs Relevance? I'll see what I can do. Who's first?
[Sarkovic steps forward as Choirboy.]
Sarkoboy: I actually won my match, so I don't really need much help, but I was wondering if I could get some new kneepads? My old ones have been totally worn out by all the "services" BBC has me doing for him.
BBCGirl: The priests taught you well, indeed.
Master of Oz: Not only do I have new, heavy-duty kneepads for you, but I'll even give you a nice bottle of mouthwash, just in case.
[Master Swee produces some knee pads and a bottle of listerine from behind the curtain.]
Master of Oz: Enjoy! So who's next?
Paul-rhage: Grrr, uggh. Yeah.
Master of Oz: Oh, well you clearly are in need of a brain. [He begins to reach behind the curtain.]
BBCGirl: You don't have to give him that, he might just start thinking for himself! We don't want that.
Master of Oz: Okay then, who's next?
JParkes: I'll go next! Everybody is always going ahead of me! I'm important, I matter! I have a title belt!
Master of Oz: I see, well first [He pulls a toy ambulance out from behind the curtain.] Here's the "Wahmbulance" for you. As for gifts, you've already received a gift in that title belt, since heaven knows you didn't actually do anything to earn it... NEXT!
[Double steps forward.]
Double-Mac: I need to get better at beating people up. Don't get me wrong, I'm great at fighting people when all my friends jump them and interfere, or if I can sneak up on them. The trouble I keep having is when I have to go one on one with somebody, or go face to face with them I do like that I've had a nice long tag team title reign though.
[Master goes behind the curtain, and pulls out some shoes and a syringe.]
Master of Oz:You might try wearing sneakers instead of wingtip boots, it'll make you quieter. Also, here are some steroids, because if you're going to cheat constantly and consistently, you might as well go all the way.
[Von Ryan steps forward.]
TimeRyan: I just seem to do what others tell me to do all the time. And people always mix me up with some Who? guy.
Master of Oz: The one from tv? Well I can fix that, I've got a couple of things for you.
[He once more goes behind the curtain, and returns with a mask with a "?" on the face, and handful of toy lions.]
Master of Oz: With this mask, people will at least think that you're the wrestler, "Who?" Although he hasn't wrestled in years. This handful of toy lions is in order for you to at least have a Little Pride!
TimeRyan: Thank you!
[Bruiser Bob Steps up ]
Ningo Bob: I want a personality!
[The Master of Oz merely lowers and shakes his head.]
Master of Oz: I'm afraid that's beyond anybody's power. What you should do is join up with a group, and at least you can get some indentity through association.
Ningo Bob: Gee thanks! That's a great idea!
Master of Oz: I know. So who've we got left?
[Freelancer as Synyster G steps forward.]
Syn-lancer: I don't need anything, I'm God's gift to wrestling! I'm amazing! Nevermind the trouble I have winning matches, I look great no matter what I do. I have great muscles, and a handsome face, and sure Freelancer will probably give me the beating of my life, but I look good!
Master of Oz: You're sure? You want to be a good looking jerk? You don't want to have friends? You don't want to have a good personality? You don't want to contribute to the world in some useful way?
Syn-Lancer: Nope, I am perfectly content with a mirror, preferably a full size one, so I can watch myself prance around, or whenever Choirboy does a job for me.
Master of Oz: He does services for you too?
Sarkoboy: Are you kidding? A service the whole Revolution. I could service you right now if you want.
Master of Oz: Well, I don't see why not, I am the Wizard after all!
Sarkoboy: Okay, well take a seat on your throne.
[The camera follows Sarkoboy as he follows Master of Oz as he goes to the throne and sits down. The camera stays focused on Master of Oz as he is seated, as we watch Sarkoboy drop to his knees and his head disappears out of the picture. Master of Oz looks down and after about 30 seconds or so he speaks again.]
Master of Oz: That's amazing. You have a real talent for this. You could probably make a living doing this.
Sarkoboy: I've always been praised for my skills. Just lots of practice.
Master of Oz: You use just the right amount of pressure, not too rough, but not so weak that you're down there for hours. And you do a great job of not getting globs of the stuff all over the place. Whenever I try to do it by myself, I just end up making a big mess, and go through a ton of paper towels. Your technique is great.
Sarkoboy: They say everybody is different, but I just use the same strokes on everybody and it works out well.
Master of Oz: I agree, I don't think I've ever gotten a better shoe shine. You did a great job with the polish. It's all even and great. Now, then who was next?
[El Lobo steps forward as Bodders]
El Boddo: I am.
Master of Oz: What's your problem?
El Boddo: Have you gotten a look at me, esse? I look terrible!
[Master of Oz, shiny shoes and all, ducks behind the curtain.]
Master of Oz: Here are some eyedrops for you, that'll help clear the yellow up. And for your back, he's a bulk-size tube of Neosporin, should help clear that right up.
El Boddo: Good, but I have more problems, see I've got this obsession with kicking people in the head.
Master of Oz: Ah, well -
El Boddo: I also have issues with women. And psychopathic tendencies. I don't make good choices for my friends and allies. And I make worse choices for my enemies. I pissed off the champ and his girlfriend, both of which are much better wrestlers than I am.
Master of Oz: That is quite the list.
El Boddo: I'm really just a terrible wrestler, I claim to love pain, and to live for it, because I've been getting my ass kicked my whole life.
Master of Oz: So instead of ass kicking you want to do head kicking? So with regards to your issues towards women and your obsession with head kicking here's a bus ticket. This town has lots of promiscuous women, provided you've at least got some money. They''ve got high libidos in that place too. And with your headkicking obsession, you'll fit right in. So here's a ticket to Randy WhoreTown. As far as your friends here, I'm afraid your stuck with this sinking ship, and there's nothing that's going to save you from the Wolfpack when they get a hold of you. So, good luck with that.
[Bruise Li steps forward]
Bruise Ruuto: I have few wishes. I want hockey be bigger than football!
Master of Oz: Traditional Football, or American Football?
Bruise Ruuto: Both!
Master of Oz: That's easy [He reaches behind the curtain.] Here's a Canadian Citizenship, so now you can be in the one place where hockey matters!
Bruise Ruuto: I also not have honor. I attack from behind, or have friends attack for me. I also have a goofy name!
Master of Oz: As to your goofy name, what you can do is intentionally mess up other people's names in a sad, transparent effort to compensate for your own inadequacies.
Bruise Ruuto: I do that now, but people see through tricks. I also compensate for small problem by carrying big hockey stick! I not know how much more I can compensate.
Master of Oz: You could try going by J.R. But I think that has been done. You could change your name to something less ridiculous.
Bruise Ruuto: Like what?
Master of Oz: Well, Dweezil McStinkyfist would be an improvement. Jerry Atric, Bob Loblaw, or Dick Hertz would all be improvements as well. Any other problem you want me to solve?
Bruise Ruuto: I must face Bruise Li, I just lost to Thram and don't want to lose again. I've fooled people into thinking I good wrestler, I not want to be exposed.
Master of Oz: Sorry, your only chance is to get yourself disqualified, that way you can act as if you didn't really lose. Or you could just run away to Canada immediately. I know you won't be the first person to flee to Canada to get away from danger.
Bruise Ruuto: I think I do that, because I CAN'T STAND THE DANGER!
Master of Oz: Well, that's everybody, but I do have a something for all of you.
[He begins tossing out badges and medals.]
Master of Oz: These are medals of honor, replicas anyway, as well as badges of courage, also replicas. As it has become abundantly clear that you all lack honor and courage, so hopefully these badges will fix that.
[Everybody begins tears off at least some part of their costume.]
Master Swee: All joking aside. The Revolution is an honorless bunch of cowards that have only had the success they've had because of their connections, their numbers and their unity. Their unity is crumbling before our eyes, their numbers are now being matched by our own, and as far as their connections go? Even a king is vulnerable if he has no pawns.
[The screen fades out.]
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