Von Ryan's Message to UNWA (Open to Tyler Ford/Killa Ray/Timelord and All)

Von Ryan Promo Video for UNWA

The camera shows a scene of the road atop Mile High Canyon Bridge where activity is taking place. A black SUV is parked here and a Pamela Anderson clone in a bikini is keeping herself busy taking bungee jumping equipment from the SUV over to the side of the bridge. The camera focuses in on the woman, perhaps a little too closely *ehm*. A loud annoyed man’s voice is heard off too the side



Von Ryan: “Hey! You! About time!”

The scene pans back over to the SUV where a man is walking up to the camera with a cocky attitude.

The man is young, obviously arrogant and brash by the way he walks up the camera. He has unkempt black hair and a chin goatee that lends to giving him a devilish look on his handsome face. His pants are black designer but he has no shirt instead preferring to show off his rock-hard muscled physique. With an angered frown he raises a finger to point into the camera, his wrist fireball tattoos seen clearly.



Von Ryan: “Listen up you mama’s boys in the UNWA! My name is Von Ryan! A name you will learn to FEAR as The High Flying Express is a’comin’ ta WRECK each and every one o’ you weak pathetic losers!

Von Ryan motions a hand to the Mile High Canyon Bridge around him.

Von Ryan: “I brought you wimps to this bridge to show you MY element. I like to fly high, the higher the better! My opponents in the ring will be DESTROYED by my kicks upside their fool heads! And they will be WRECKED by my high flying moves that come crashing down on them from high above. I AM DEATH FROM ABOVE!

Now all you in the UNWA know your fates ahead of time. So take time to write out your ~stupid~ wills to give your ~precious~ baubles to the ~poor little orphans~. The High Flying WRECK EXPRESS is a’ comin’!

LISTEN!!! ....
Can you hear IT!!? ....
The EXPRESS is barreling off the tracks at a hundred miles per hour and right at YOU!

And for all of you other newly signed so-called ‘wrestlers’ in the UNWA that think you are better than The High Flying Express I’m callin’ ya OUT!

The irate man points his finger into the camera angrily as he starts to spew out a litany of loud insults to his fellow new UNWA members.

Von Ryan: “Tyler Ford, I heard you were crying so loudly for a fight in the ring that you woke up Tokyo! Your blabbering tears was making such a flood that I was afraid we would have to evacuate like New Orleans after Katrina!

And who’s this guy I saw on my Wheaties box back in the 70’s? OH! It’s not Sugar Ray Leonard it’s ~Killa Ray~. Well you know what, ‘Killa’? That shrimp Sugar Ray could beat your hip-hop gangsta dumbass all tha way back to tha ‘hood with both of his arms tied behind his back! You street circus clowns are all talk but when faced with an opponent like THE HIGH FLYING EXPRESS you all scatter like tha little craven cowards you are!

Timelord, I know I’ve seen you before? Can’t remember where but I do remember some stupid blue box. Is that your ‘security blanket’? ~Awww, poor little Timelord has to have his blue boxy? ~ *LAUGH* What a friggin JOKE you are!

And Timelord, who is that pretty blond girl you’re always with? I’ll be giving her a call because she needs a REAL man like VON RYAN and not some scrawny tea sipping reject from some retard planet! I’ll leave you a message and let you know how much she enjoyed our night together, Wimplord!”

After giving the bad attitude to the camera he sneers into it with contempt.

The blond in the bikini, looking a little tired from carrying all the equipment herself, comes over.



Woman: “Is that all of the stuff?”

Von Ryan: “No, you forgot the heavy box, Melissa.”

Woman: “My name is Candy, silly. I told you last night when we met.”

Von Ryan waves his hand dismissingly towards the woman as he rolls his eyes, annoyed.

Von Ryan: “Whatever. Just get the box, Buffy.”

Von Ryan doesn’t help the woman with the box and walks over the ledge of the bridge to take a look down to the canyon a mile below. His face turns green at seeing the great height and he looks like he might vomit. Quickly retreating from the ledge he sees that the camera is still focused on him and he bursts out in anger.



Von Ryan: “Is that thing still on! WHY YOU LITTLE! COME HERE! I’m gonna kick your freaking teeth through your fool head!”

Infuriated Von Ryan runs towards the camera and it is dropped as the cameraman flees. The screen goes to static when it hits the ground.

OOC- I liked ya RP...pretty funny. Good stuff!

(ooc you can use this in the first show or not up to you leon if not it can be set up at a house show)

(We fade into the first show of the season for UNWA and see all the screaming fans. Suddenly "Lights Out" by P.O.D. begins to play

and we see Tyler Ford making his way to the ring. After he makes his way to ringside an orange spotlight appears on him as he makes his way into the ring. He makes his way to the corner and grabs a microphone from the ring announcer.)

Tyler:"You know it amazes me sometimes at comedy that some of the new guys like me bring to the UNWA. It just makes me laugh at them especially two in particular. These two would be Von Ryan and Killa Ray. Oh where to start...

(Tyler pauses and acts like he is thinking hard very sarcastically.)

Tyler:"Well lets start with Von Ryan. The man who wants to talk all big and bad about how he is the high flying express or whatever he wanted to call himself. But obviously he is not big and bad enough to get his own s*** out of his SUV. You want to talk about me crying for a match. You must be joking if you think I was crying. No, I was just looking to get a match with someone in this fed but no one wanted to step foward so I had to continue my pursuit to find someone who was not scared to fight me. But you go ahead and think about that you idiot and get back with me.

Now for Killa Ray. This man first comes and challenges a big fish and gets shot down. Then not even knowing who he is going to face, he wants to talk all this smack about how he is going to beat him down. Well Killa let me let you in on a little secret there, I will be the one you will be facing and you can bet your ass you are not going to beat me down. You see I have study you already and I know what you have to offer and trust me it ain't much. But you keep thinking big so I can get my comedy relief and I will see you in the ring.

(Tyler looks like he is going to leave but thinks better of it for a moment and turns back around.)

Tyler:"Hell I tell you what Killa, why don't you get with Von Ryan and work out a comedy skit and then when you two are done both of you can come see me. That way I can laugh at the both of you and then kick the s*** out of both of you."

(This time Tyler drops the mic and walks out of the ring as "Come as you are" by Nirvana comes back on.)

[The camera zooms in on Killa Ray who is sitting on a steel chair in his lockerroom holding a "Frost" flavored Gatorade]

Killa Ray smirks slightly as he takes a sip from his gatorade...

Killa Ray- Well Well Well, It seems this place is full of lames...

After raising to his feet, he paces a moment before continuing his thoughts...

Killa Ray- First we have this Guy Von Ryan...One, where do you get off comin at me like you know me homie! But hey, let me calm down, I can't be upset with a guy whose still having flashbacks from the 70's. Check this out Gramps! Candy may have went from 5 cents to a dolla but @$$ whoopins are still free! Come get some homie, you don't want it with a Boss like myself!

Laughing briefly, he continues his speech...

Killa Ray- I can understand how you'll come here and right off the back, come at a guy like myself...lets face it, i'm everything you wish you were...Rich, Handsome and Gangsta!...You think cause you can hit a few backflips, that makes you the sh!t?! This ain't gymnastics homie! When you step to me, you better step correct!

Wiping the smile off his face, he aggressively approaches the camera...

Killa Ray- As for you Tyler, you're not even worth my time really...Word around here is you've been begging for a match but no one stepped up and you know why? Cause you sound like you have down syndrome...who wants to pick on the mentally challenged? Only reason I'll bless you with a beat down is because its just business...

Killa Ray- Unlike the rest of these guys, I don't show to much pitty...we're in a rough business and if it means I have to beat down a mentally challenged guy name Tyler or Mr. Gymnastics to get paid then so be it, you guys are just one bump in the road...well not even a bump, more like dung beetles...

Backing away from the camera, he seems to regain his composure alittle as he takes another drink of his gatorade...

Killa Ray- In closing, i'll say this....Its on!...Yall @$$es is grass and i'm the lawnmower....

Laughing, he turns away from the camera, exiting his dressing room...

[Camera fades out]

At an unknown location a lone figure can be seen chatting to a small dog,but this is no ordinary small dog this is K-9.
The figure no ordinary man as when the light changes we can clearly make out Timelord

Well good buddy it seems some new bad guy called Von ryan is running his mouth off about just about anyone and anything.
I'm sorry but i can't let it go
There are also two others Killa ray and Tyler who also like to talk the talk but can they walk the walk,k-9 that was so cheesy you could have interrupted me.
Soon it will be time for the tardis to travel again to U.N.W.A. and when we arrive you all better be ready.
I'm a man of few words,i don't believe in shooting off my mouth unless it's absolutely necessary.

I will just borrow another old saying from the crazy world of wrestling and this is out to whoever wants to listen

Just bring it

Let's go k-9,time to fly.........

Von Ryan At the Gym (and Talking Smack) Video



The scene is a gym popular among wrestlers and not so far from the UNWA HQ. Among the dozens of workout machines some gym members are bustling about using them with zeal. The camera starts to focus in on a bench press where Von Ryan is just finishing up his power lifting training.

Von Ryan, sweat glistening from his body builder form, sits up on the weight bench and grabs a white towel to wipe the sweat from his brow. Lifting his head to face the camera he gives a cocky smirk and has a message for some choice fellow new wrestlers at the UNWA.



Von Ryan: “Looks like I got some chumps attention with my introduction into the UMWA. And I have a message for you losers. Some of you think this is all a great big comedy show. Guess what, dumbasses; this isn’t the David Letterman show or even a Bozo the Clown World where it seems you guys like living at! This is the REAL world. And the sooner you three, Tyler Ford, Killa Ray and Timelord realize your fates are sealed when you face me in the ring the sooner we can start planning your stupid funerals.”

Von Ryan tosses his towel to the side as he rises from the weight bench to approach the camera directly.

Von Ryan: “You know that whiner Tyler Ford thinks he can tell me how to live my own life and I shouldn’t have my girlfriends carry my equipment. Well guess WHAT, Tyler ‘crybaby’ Ford, women LOVE to do things for me and they don’t complain like some crybabies I know!

And what’s this backtalk I’m getting from that freak-looking Killa Ray? You think YOU’RE handsome? My God man, get a mirror and look into it so you can see how hideous your gangsta-fool head looks! Oh, I’m sorry, guess you can’t look into a mirror because it would SHATTER at the sight of your hideous mug. Now quit being jealous of MY handsome looks and talk about something you can sound at least a tenth intelligent about!

Oh wait, one more thing, ‘Killa’, you want to talk about mowing asses with a lawnmower? I know for CERTAIN that your kindergarten dropout brain wouldn’t even know what to DO with a lawnmower. Your foolish ass probably thinks lawnmowers are a cornrow braider and try to use it on your gansta afro!

When we DO finally meet in the ring, ‘Killa’, I’ll bring a lawnmower with me and old school you on its use by SMASHING it upside your FOOL HEAD!

Crybaby Ford and Gangsta Clown Ray, why don’t you two have a fight so I can figure out which one of you girls can handle a UNWA match? Then I might beat-up the winner just for fun, because everyone knows neither of you losers can beat me.”

On to another matter, has anyone even SEEN that yellow Timelord around lately? Quit hiding and get out here Wimplord! Incase you haven’t heard there is an UNWA Prestige Title up for grabs, too chicken to show yourself for that also?

If you want to hide go ahead and play with your stupid metal dog, you aren’t even MAN enough to handle owning a real dog like the rest of us! If I was a dog I’d certainly bite your wimpy-ass hand just out of principal!”

Von Ryan turns to look at something off screen and smiles wickedly.

With a hand Ryan reaches out to the camera and turns it too focus on a well toned woman on a nearby treadmill.



Off camera Von Ryan talks:

Von Ryan: “Looks like I just found myself a date for this evening.”

Off camera Von Ryan wolf-whistles toward the woman.

The camera is turned back to Von Ryan now. A wide smug of a smirk is on his lips; his arrogant cocky demeanor is obvious to all.

Von Ryan: “And what are you three losers doing this evening, Ford, Ray, and Timelord? I think the world already knows the answer to that question. You guys will be at home in your PJs watching Star Trek reruns with your mamas!”



Von Ryan shakes his head in disgust and dismisses the camera with a hand as he walks out of the scene.